en masse (pronunciation)
DHS: United States Department of Homeland Security
PDF (portable document format) -> vector form (which is better than bitmap (which saves pictures based on dots))
Papua New Guinea
Hey, you’re always welcome to hang out with us on Quora.
I’m sorry you needed to leave your job and lost your friends. You’re right that sitting around on your birthday isn’t a good idea. I suggest doing something new. Get out of the house. Try a different kind of food. Go to the movies. Plan a short road trip. Go listen to some music. Enjoy your own company. Don’t re-enter your house until you’ve had a little adventure.
Good luck. We’ve all been there. It will get better.
I’ve been active on Quora for 4 months, and I see that in those 4 months I’ve probably made more improvement than in a year without it. It has made me more productive and mature.
Before Quora, I would waste my time on Facebook or 9gag a lot. I remember watching some brilliant TED talks and I couldn’t resist sharing them on Facebook, I actually thought people would find them amazing. Needless to say I was utterly wrong. Anything that actually requires any mental work is not a thing that goes well on Facebook, it’s not because people using it are stupid, they just don’t have a habit of using it for such purposes.
I still remember the feeling I had when I first discovered Quora. I spend the day browsing it and thinking “Is this real? This is beyond amazing!”. Just a day or two after that, the time I was spending on video games, Facebook and other wasteful activities began to grow lower at amazing pace. Just a couple of weeks later I’ve deactivated my account I now I just check it for a minute a week because of school.
I still waste time and procrastinate occasionally, but now it’s in a much productive way. Procrastinating by reading or writing on Quora is much better than doing the same on Facebook or similar sites.
My day starts with coffee and browsing Quora, and I think that’s probably the smartest habit I have. There is a saying “You are the sum of people you spend most time with”, and I think it’s true. Of course, one might be aware of this, but differing from this takes a lot of hard work and dedication, and combined with a challenge that the change itself has makes keeping this immunity very unlikely to happen. By starting my day with Quora, the first thing I’m exposed to is a lot of smart and hard working people, and that somehow sets the mood for the whole day. It makes me want to work harder and improve. It’s a simple thing, and yet it had great results. Now after 4 months, I see that, on average, I work a lot more than I used to.
Making a change in behavior is hard, and it’s not something that happens overnight. In most cases, it’s not some moment of clarity after which you are 3 times better than you were before, it’s a gradual process. It’s about trying again and again after failing but doing a bit better every time, and with Quora as a constant source of motivation this transition is much easier.
With Quora, it’s easy to be the most stupid person in the room. And I mean that in the most positive way. Being able to read answers and questions written by those who are a lot smarter, well educated, experienced and wise is amazing. It humbles you and makes you realize how little you know, but it also provides a way to learn from all those people, so when I am faced with my ignorance, I don’t feel bad about it, it actually motivates me to learn more and try to be better.
I’ve talked to so many smart people here and I appreciate that so much.
And the fact that people are generally respectful, understanding, kind, open to discussions and exchange of knowledge fills my heart with joy.
I am so grateful for having discovered it, it’s the best thing that has happened to me in the last year.
One day in October 2015 I received this text message from my husband.
Hi sweety! I’ll be back home by 6pm, Don’t bother buying groceries for tomorrow’s breakfast. We’re going to have it in Paris. Make sure you have packed and you are ready to go, when I’m back. Happy anniversary!
To which, still shocked, I answered:
Really?? But our wedding anniversary is in March.
And he wrote:
I know, but exactly ten years ago we met for the first time at that blessed traffic light in Toronto. I can’t celebrate with the traffic light, so I thought I’d do it with you…
Remember the game that made everyone go crazy about it?
The huge success of the game made its creator – ROVIO, a lot of cash.
One of the main reasons for the success of Angry Birds was the awesome simulation of physics in the 2D game.
At the 2011 Game Developer Conference in San Francisco, one of the Q&A panels was headed up by Rovio’s Peter Vesterbacka. A guy named Erin asked a question. Here is how the conversation went.
Erin: “Hi Peter, could you tell me which physics engine Angry Birds uses?”
Erin: “Great. Would you consider giving credit to Box2D in your game?”
Peter: “Yes, of course”
Erin: “Thank you! By the way, I am Erin Catto the creator of Box2D”
Peter: “Great! I would like to talk to you after the session”
Meet, – a Physics programmer at Blizzard Entertainment. He is the guy who created Box2D – the awesome 2D Physics simulation engine used by so many 2D games. He created the original library for C++ and many people have just ported it to other languages and platforms.
Although not giving credit to Box2D was still legal, but Erin felt that Box2D deserved a mention for how it has made it so easy for such games to come alive. There was not much of a drama. Both Peter and Erin confirmed. Erin just wanted to ask Peter if he could mention Box2D in credits and he obliged.
Best part about these photos is, he did all this unsupervised and without any safety gear.
I am the son of a woman who cleans other people’s house. I lost my father at a tender age of 7. Feeding us (me and my younger brother) from the meagre money she earns became difficult to cover our basic needs. We used to live on a single meal per day, sometimes twice when my Mom took the half-eaten meals left on the dinner plate from others house. My family suffers from malnutrition and we are all emaciated. Our house was mud-walled and had a grass-thatched roof, which would leak terribly when the rain falls. The rain brought with them the Anopheles mosquitoes which transmitted malaria. I was the most vulnerable to malaria infections in my family. I vividly remember once I was praying to God to take my soul while lying in the hospital bed when I was 10.
My Mom took me to a government school (primary school) and got me admitted because she always encouraged us taking education seriously and said this is the only way we can come out from this situation. So I started taking my education seriously. Until 4th standard I got free books from my primary school, after I passed 4th standard, I had to join a new school (secondary school) from 5th as the previous school I was studying in was having classes only upto the 4th. From 5th I had to buy books and I had to walk 6km from my house to reach my school. My Mom always reached out to people and asked books for my studies. This gave me lot of energy and a reason to work hard and do good in my studies and I maintained top position in my class. My classmates were always bullying me because I always studied in class even during my lunch time. Everybody got a lunch box to have lunch and when I felt hungry I went out and drank water to fill my stomach. They spoke about my dirty clothes, ripped bag but I never responded. I remember the day I asked my Mom that I have to pay exam fees to write board (10th) exam, she was not having money. Mom reached school and bowed down in-front of the principal but he refused to pay my exam fees. One of my class teacher paid my board exam fees. And I cleared 10th exam with 78% mark. My mom was so proud of me and prepared Kheer (sweet dish) for all of us. And that’s the full stop of my education. I had to stop chasing my dream knowing the facts that my Mom could not afford my further studies so I came to Bangalore from Jharkhand in search of a job with one person from my village who was working as a security guard in an apartment here in Bangalore. My Mom gave me Rs.50, but it was not sufficient to buy train ticket so I did not buy one but I had been warned that if I get caught by TTE, I would be thrown out from the train, I was lucky enough that I reached Bangalore without any problem.
I was searching for a job for 2 months but I did not get any so I went to nearest Railway station and started working as a Coolie, selling books and news paper. I started earning enough money to feed myself 2 times and save Rs.10 everyday so I can send some money home. I was first recruited by a book stall guy. I was assigned to sell the novels in one of the busiest traffic in Bangalore, I read novels when the signal was Green and started selling when it was Red. I read almost 100 novels during that time. One day a police officer caught me selling duplicate novels but when I told him the book stall owner asked me to do this job, he took me there but the stall owner refused to identify me. But somehow I convinced the police officer that I was just selling it but I did not own them.
I left that job and came to a residential area and started washing cars for my living. I still didn’t get any place to stay so I used to go to Railway Station everyday to sleep with my old friends over there.
Once while I was working in an apartment, one person came and asked me where I am from, for the first time in 2 years of my life in Bangalore, and also where do I stay and why I started working at this age when do I get time to study. I told him everything about me and as I can read, write and understand English, he offered me a typing job, in return he will teach me computer and give me a place to stay in his house. As I was very much passionate about computers, I agreed to that without thinking anything and offered a place to stay was like a icing on the cake.
He taught me how to use a computer, internet, ms-office etc. I asked many questions about the internet and gathered a lot of information. I always had 4 hrs access to his system to get the work done, gradually I started to finish the work so early, in and around 2 hrs and during the remaining time I started learning programming and other stuff. I started dreaming again. I worked with him for 4 hrs and after that I started new jobs like cooking, washing vessels, cleaning houses of his friends to earn some money for some extra bucks. After 2 months when I started working on the programming, I got pretty much knowledge but it was once again a time for bad luck as the project he was working got completed. Now I did not have access to his system any-more. All my dreams were broken into pieces again. I was afraid to ask his computer as I could have lost the place where I was staying. I was cooking for 4 guys in a house and one guy was having a second hand laptop to sell. They were all working in TCS. I asked him about the price, first he asked me why? and said it’s not a car wash or cook food. I just said I want to learn programming so I want to have it. They started laughing so loudly and said we didn’t learn to programme in last 4 yrs of our engineering and how can you learn just like that. He said, anyway if you want to buy it then the price will be Rs.15000. I started working so hard to get that laptop for myself so that I can start to learning programming again. I was so excited. After 3 months of hard work I gathered Rs.12000 and I asked him if he can give it to me and rest he can deduct from my salary. He said he can’t give me Rs. 3000 in advance. I asked other houses where I had been working for more than 6 months but nobody gave me loan of Rs.3000. I thought let me work for another month and take that laptop. After few days I heard my Mom was sick and hospitalised and needed Rs. 13000 so I had to transfer the money to my Mom.
I will definitely pursue my dream along with my work and I will be successful one day fighting all odds.
Everyday I go to the internet cafe and spend about 2 hrs learning to program and found this very useful site Quora today. I feel like spending so much time reading answers.
This is my first answer on Quora, I don’t know whether I will be able to make you understand how it feels to be poor but I can say that it’s a bitter-sweet journey so far, but it has made me so strong. I hope I will complete my story with a good ending one day to inspire 100s of people who simply does not pursue their dream only because they are poor and do not have access to good schools and colleges.
EDIT: I am so privileged and honoured for this overwhelming response. I am so grateful to everyone who have reached out to me for help. I am speechless and I don’t know how to thank you all.
Clarification Asked by, and : I bought Samsung S4 few days back from my savings and got internet connection. I read Quora and wrote answers whole night yesterday. I go to the Internet Cafe for 2 hrs only to learn programming from , where I can write code and test it in their site that I can’t do it on my Mobile phone.
EDIT-2: I am so blessed to have met a person like sir in my life, its a great opportunity to share a room with him. Its so warm when he hugged me in-front of 100s of people. Its out of the world feeling.
Thank yousir and sir for taking the time to speak with me.
I got more than 1000 messages throughout the world and addressing each of them taking time so please don’t mistake me for not replying you quickly.
Thank you all.
100s of people reaching out to me for financial help and asking me to have their laptop. I do not need any financial help or laptop, by saying that I do not really want to hurt anyone. Sorry if it hurts you anyway. I almost learned to make a static website with the help of sir. And I will have my first pay check coming next week and I have a small savings so I can buy a used laptop next week.
For the people who are very sensitive about me or supporting my family:
I will be working few hours every week to make a website to support my family and remaining time I will be using it for myself to learn things.
I need your guidance and advice throughout my life to do something great. And I love to take any programming help.
Please stay in touch. Your support is so precious to me.
And for the people who want to validate my identity, here is my only government identity proof
I am removing my identity proof from here because it can be used for unlawful activities. Thank youfor your suggestion.
What would you do if a man were to abuse you because of the color of your skin or your country of origin? Most of us would be very angry or sad, but what Aminur Chowdhury did to a racist British citizen was the exact opposite.
Ben Gallon, a homeless British man had racially abused Aminur. Aminur realized that arguing was not going to help. So he decided to reform Ben through an innovative approach.
Aminur asked for Ben’s contact details, and asked him if he could come and pick him up the next day for an interview. At first Ben thought Aminur was joking or just being polite. But the next day, Aminur actually arrived in his car, took Ben to his friend’s place for the interview, and Ben got the job!
Touched by this gesture, Ben admitted his mistake and apologized to Aminur.
Aminur believes that tolerance is the best response to any form of hate and racism. He believes that the more love you show, the more the others will love you.
Aminur made us realise that we belong to the land of Gandhi.
Follow this awesome page to get real time logical news and updates.
The birth and death of Periodical Cicadas is by far the best and rarest natural phenomenon that occurs on our planet earth. Cicadas are spectacular insects often making dramatic and sudden appearances.
In East coast of North America, in the dry forests, this phenomenon occurs once every 17 years.
The nymphs of Cicadas come out from the ground (often at night) and there will be billions of them (yes, billions!) marching towards the nearest tree and they start climbing the trees. This is the biggest insect emergence that occur on the planet. They reach the top and shed their skin and come out in their winged forms. This transformation takes one full night and they are ready to fly the next morning.
They swarm the forest the next day and their sounds fill the air. They fly, some rest on leaves and some on the ground. Some fall in the water.
This is once-in-a-lifetime lucky feast for the carnivores. Be it the turtles in the water, be it the birds, be it the cats or other animals in the wild. The cicadas are so much in number that all the animals fill their stomach overwhelmingly. The cicadas keep coming and the survived cicadas begin the process of mating and lay eggs that ultimately fall on the ground. This is the job of cicadas literally (laying eggs surviving all the odds).
In just a few days, all the cicadas die and they fall to the ground too. The forest goes silent. The cicadas here will not be heard again for another seventeen years! (The picture below shows the dead cicadas).
Having fed the predators, the cicadas leave one last gift for the forest when they die. The nutrients that cicadas have taken for seventeen years (while underground) are all given back at once (when they die). This brings an excellent growth for the trees. This is regarded as the single largest dose of fertilizer in the nature.
Such a designer the nature is, in protecting itself and its dependents. OTOH, we are destroying the nature and ultimately the humanity, in the name of development.
Picture credits: Planet Earth Documentary Series (Videos)
P.S: Thanks , , and for promoting my answer. 🙂
Edit 1: My first 1000+ upvotes. Thank you all! 🙂
The doctor told me my blood was 90%+ cancer cells.You know what I did?
I held my ground and proudly struggled through 4 cycles of chemotherapy and one bone marrow transplant.Guess what?
I’ve been cancer free for the last 4 years. I’m 24 years old now.
You know what I think of it?
It was the best experience I had in my life so far. It tought me so much. It changes the way I see myself and experience my life forever.
What if I had died?
I’d have died proudly like the wounded horse whose body is scarred with battle scratches that strengthened his soul one scratch at a time.
Two quote that really touches me regarding this are:
“There is only one thing that I dread: not to be worthy of my sufferings.” by Dostoevski —
“Cancer is a tremendous opportunity to have your face pressed right up against the glass of your mortality.” —
Hold your ground buddy.
It’s time to explore how great you are.
Putting yourself outside your comfort zone means going for things you have always wanted but didn’t because you were afraid.
These are not necessarily things that risk your physical safety but rather what might make you more vulnerable to failure.
You realize that you can’t grow unless you give up being complacent.
Ask any body builder what happens when you do the exact same workout every day: your body, efficient, intelligent, gets used to it. Your progress stops.
As much as we crave comfort and routine, we were designed to be kept challenged, not to be kept comfortable.
Obviously, what makes each person uncomfortable varies greatly depending on the individual.
- Asking him/her out.
- Raising your hand in class: you always know the answer but are nervous to speak up and it’s time that you did.
- Living alone because you know you can even though you feel you can’t so I guess you just have to show yourself.
- Traveling alone.
- Asking for a raise not just for the money but as a first step to finding your voice.
- Moving from a safe job to a job that stretches you when everyone tells you it’s crazy but you know in your heart it would be crazier not to.
- Deciding to leave.
- Or resolving to stay.
- Disappointing someone who loves you to be true to yourself.
- Finally saying “I love you”.
- Finally saying “no”.
- Finally saying “yes”.
- Trusting yourself.
- Trusting again.
Because if you don’t trust, you assure me, your heart is safe; but tell me, what good is a safe heart?
Please don’t waste a perfectly good heart by keeping it safe.
I’m an engineer by training and lover of knowledge of all kinds. I did my Bachelors in Computer Engineering in India and did my graduate degree at the . I worked with some of the top professors in Artificial Intelligence/Multiagent Systems and did my thesis work on Multiagent Systems (developing a platform for100s of intelligent agents such as robots or wireless sensors to work together to solve a problem).
After graduation, I got hired into Microsoft as a developer at the Core Operating System Division for developing Windows 7. Close to the end of the product cycle, I moved into a hybrid research/development team developing prototypes for online tools. My final stint was with Windows Phone team working on the Windows Phone 7.
After 3.5 years working for Microsoft Redmond, I decided to move back to India to found a finance startup with my ex-colleague at Microsoft. For the past 1 year+ I have worked on the project (along with a few consulting projects for political strategists, for cash flows). Hoping to launch the product soon.
In fall 2012, I moved back to the US to start MBA program at. Given Babson’s reputation of being the world leader in entrepreneurship education, I plan to use the network and learning to launch my product.
She is also a little bit of a creative writer.
I should also mention that she’s a night owl. She wakes up around 9PM and draws pictures all through the night. I usually get to see the work she’s completed from the night before just before I head out to work in the morning.
One day, three years ago, I saw that she was giving her Cintique Tablet a break and was just practicing with pens, charcoal and pencils on paper. I flipped through the pages and dropped her book. This fell out of the back.
The picture was a little difficult to make out, but I learned that it was a person looking into a mirror
The content reads:
“What if *the only thing* keeping us from entering a mirror was our own reflection?”
“And what if they’re trying to keep us out because their world on the other side of the mirror is a horrible place…”
“But then again, what if we are the horrible side and unintentionally keeping them out?”
“What if you’re the reflection?”
Reading something like this from your (at that time) 12 year old daughter was a little bit of what you refer to as a mindf*ck!
Edit: thank you and Sorry I don’t have the time to respond to all comments. I did not and could not have predicted this level of response.
Many have asked for more and I don’t know any other way to share things like this. This is the main “original” character from the Manga she’s working on…unfortunately I can’t share details…other than it’s really dark (she started this one -first drawing – in July ’14 and has thrown away several of her early drafts).
Picture relating to the first story line
When two best Gujjus, two MODI’s take selfie together – It has to be the BEST SELFIE
Second-generation Indian American actor Kalpen Suresh Modi aka Kal Penn took this selfie with PM Narendra Modi when he was part of Obama’s entourage to India in January 2015 and posted it in Twitter.
Image credits : @
2. Frank lampard’s 250th goal for Chelsea
Fan Josh Pratt took this selfie behind the goal at Stamford bridge as Frank Lampard was taking a penalty to score his historic 250th career goal for Chelsea.
There are currently over 10,000 upvotes to answers to this question.
That’s technically over 10,000 people that read your question, were touched enough by the question to either answer it or feel that it was answered well enough for an answer to upvote it, which essentially means that over 10,000 people want to give you a hug.
A couple of years ago I walked out of a casino to see a girl with a sign written on a bit of cardboard that said ‘FREE HUGS’ I walked up to her and she gave me a massive hug, as I walked away smiling I said ‘you’re doing a great thing’ she replied ‘I really just needed one person to notice me and tonight over 100 people have, I feel so much better’
It didn’t occur to me when I first saw her that she was the one that needed to be hugged, I thought she was a happy soul that wanted to share that happiness.
She’s now a Facebook friend and she now has a lot of Facebook friends but one hug she received later that night has recently become her fiance.
Don’t wait for your hugs, go get them and I really hope you will end up with many many hugs that fill your heart with happiness.
I’m in a long distance relationship since a few years but I’ve some really underrated precious things to share.
Indian girls are generally not seen talking about their boyfriend openly which encourages me even more to share my story.
I’m in this relationship since December, 2009 and I lived in the same city as my boyfriend’s till January, 2013 continuously but in an on – off mode.
We live in different countries now.
- After parting in January, 2013 & reuniting in July, 2015 we took our 1st selfie ever. Note the word ‘ever’
- Skype is the life blood of my relationship. I can see him sleep.
- Yes, I love when he comforts me a day before my exams.
He is trying to make me laugh in this picture because I’m scared of writing the exams next day.
- Stupid things are necessary in a relationship in order to ensure long lasting happiness.
Once again, a stupid picture!
No we are not beautiful!
We are not glamorous!
We are just normal people who work 16 hours a day (both of us).
But we are in love & that is what completes us.
It all started with an upvote and a follow. We met on 18th May, 2015. I had upvoted an answer of his, he followed me; I sent him a “Thanks for the follow!” message. (I was new to Quora, back then.) Being the snoopy stalker that I am, I stalked his account. He seemed like a geek. I read all his answers. I liked the way his brain works. He seemed like an interesting person.
I upvoted quite a few of his answers; which scared the living day lights out of him. He messaged me describing how it freaked him out. And thus our lives got entangled. We started to talk on Quora about random things. About life. About Quora. (Trust me, Quora was our life back then. It still is.) About crushes. About college. About everything under the sun. I enjoyed every second I spent with him. A few conversations later, I realized that I was developing romantic feelings for him. He is everything I have always wanted in a guy. Geeky- check. Tall-check. Good sense of humour- check. I didn’t have a profile picture on here. And I wasn’t active on any other social media. He never saw any of my photos. I didn’t expect him to like me, or even look at me in romantic light. On 7th June, I woke up to a 200 word message from him. He told me about his feelings for me. I felt like the luckiest girl on the Earth (He still makes me feel that way. He is a darling!) We didn’t know how to proceed. We live 903.03 miles away from each other. We decided to do nothing about it; and just go with the flow. That was the day when he first saw me. We exchanged pictures. Yes, he fell in love with me even without seeing me. (He still brags about it.)
By 31st July, we couldn’t take it any more. He used the “L” word and asked me out. That day we spoke over the phone; for the first time. I was a complete nervous wreck. This was the first of many more phone conversations to follow.
We have our own share of lows. We make it through the lows, always. Every second i spend with him is worth everything. Our love for each other only increases with each passing day. I hope we will make it. For I’ll love him for the rest of my life.
Thanks for asking me to answer this question, boyfriend 🙂
This is my boyfriend’s version of the story:
Those were days when I used to write many answers on Quora, and I was also enjoying my time socializing with people on Quora. It was something new to me, something exciting, to find new people, to discuss things with them. It was fun, in an otherwise boring life. So, there was this simple Maths answer, and I got an upvote. I used to be almost always busy on Quora those days, a girl it was. Checked her profile, had an awesome description (she has received many compliments just for her description). Followed her just based on the description.
She sent a “Thanks for the follow” message, and started upvoting my answers. She won’t admit it, but it was over 70!! I was totally creeped out. First, it is not usual for people send a message to everyone who follows them. Second, with most of my answers at 2-3 upvotes, so many upvotes were enough to freak me out. I messaged and asked her not to repeat this with anyone. We started talking about random things, she reactivated her Facebook account. Things moved on from Quora to Facebook.
She had to go out on some trip during that time, and I missed her so much, that I realized I had feelings for her. Around 18 days after meeting her, I told her about it, by sending a message after she had gone to sleep. Next morning, she told me the crush was mutual. We decided to do nothing about it, and just go with the flow. We didn’t want a relationship in college itself. We used to talk about staying in touch for 4-5 years, and then decide if we can move ahead with this seriously. All this changed around end of July. I asked her out.
Has been over 6 months we met, we have exchanged 69k messages on Facebook, 20k messages on Hangouts, many more on Whatsapp. We have talked to each other over phone for hours. We respect each-other’s academic requirements. The possessiveness is manifold more over distance. I personally have felt jealous, but talked about it with her. I am very sensitive, and she has learnt how to handle me. She has been there for me, when I was deeply hurt by someone, and I needed a shoulder to cry on. We have had lows, doubted the relationship. I have once tried to cut her off my life. But the best part, we bounce back, and each time we bounce back, we are closer and more experienced. Our love only increases with time. (Yes, you can do binary search on it to search for some event in our love history 😛 )
I feel the fact that it was online has always helped us express ourselves better. The fact that I don’t have to care about my body language around her, has helped me a lot. I can concentrate on my words, instead of how I look to her. It’s easier to get over shyness virtually than in real life. I still am an introvert in real life, but she has changed me a lot in the virtual world. Yes, there are times when we just want to hug each other, and it’s frustrating that we can’t. But we know, if things go well, someday, it will all be worth it!! 🙂
Here’s the on a normal day.
Not bad for the “driest place on earth”.
But after rain and warmth brought on by, this carpet of blooms quickly emerge:
All the latent seeds suddenly sprout, bringing a desert to life with the birds, bees, and other little animals they attract:
This is known as the phenomenon, and you can see it in action here:
That a man who develops a relaxed, easy confidence and solid sense of style has a distinct advantage with the ladies. Should he want that. 🙂
Here’s another thing that might prove helpful to know young, and which many people never learn at all.
We all have the kind of person we think we are attracted to, or want to be attracted to — but that doesn’t mean it’s *true*.
The most powerful attractions are psychological as well as physical, and it’s the first part that can be a mystery to us and baffling to others (“Why the hell is she with that guy…?” “Why can’t he just dump that loser once and for all?”)
People with stupid-crazy power over us tap into some deep unconscious drama that we are compelled to play out again and again until we resolve it.
Should you fall in love with a person who keeps you in the friend zone because he or she only goes out with jerks, it is (usually) not because they want to be with partners who treat them poorly.
Their childhood programmed them to gravitate to a particular type of relationship with a particular kind of person — either because the brain finds it familiar (and safe, since it hasn’t killed you so far, which admittedly is a very low bar) or is unconsciously trying to resolve an unresolved conflict with an important figure from the past.
They will be obsessed with trying to *win* affection/respect, or control that person or fix that relationship. They might even know it’s doomed, but just keep on keeping on. (Love is many things, but ‘sane’ is rarely among them.)
If you don’t remind them on some unconscious level of that figure, you will never compel them like someone who does. Don’t ever take it personally. It just means that you’re destined to be the romantic co-star in someone else’s life-movie.
And if that person continues to catch you in their tractor beam, you might need to ask yourself what drama *you* play out, and the part they have in it.
While coming back from our trip in Haridwar we stopped at a Dhaaba(roadside restaurant) on the highway to eat. While all the other members of the group got busy in ordering food I saw a guy standing right in front of dhabaa and doing something with a cloth in his hand and seemed more like a dance, so out of curiosity I went to see what was happening and this is the conversation I had with the guy(referred as X) .
Me:- What are you trying to do?
X:- There are a lot of dhaabas around so am trying to woo the attention of the drivers to stop at ours.
Me:- Is it really helpful?
X:- Obviously it is. Cars drive so quick on highways that if we won’t tell them we exist then they won’t even notice.
Me:- kyaaa baat hai ( Great )
X:- Look at the adjacent dhaaba, he’s also trying to do the same.
Me:- Ohh I see. Well my name is Sahil and what’s yours?
Me:- How much money do you make via doing this?
X:- 10k and plus I get all the meals (with a huge smile on his face )
Me :- You seem so young, Don’t you go to school?
X:- I do. My school is till 2 and then I come here to work.
Me:- It must be hard and tiring.
X:- No I love it and plus my mom feels proud of me too.
Me:- Sure they do.
X:- I just have my mom, I lost my dad when I was 2.
Me:- Well am sorry to hear that.
X:- Haha don’t be sorry. I’ve no complaints with life, While all the other children of my age in my village are busy doing drugs, I go to school and also earn a living for my family.
After having heard him, I started analysing my own self and wondering how much dependent I was on my dad for everything.
Me:- What class are you in ?
X:- 10th. I’ll leave this work next month as my board exams are approaching. I want to be an IAS.
Me:- Its one of the toughest exams.
X:- Am one of the brightest in my school. My headmaster says that I’ll do something great with my life.
Me:- Why IAS?
X:- There’s no electricity in my village and no irrigation facilities. Sometimes I stay here only in night so that I can study as there’s no electricity back home. My dad once went to poop in the fields in the morning and never came back. He was bitten by a poisonous snake. He could have been saved but the hospital is in adjacent village so by the time we got there he was already dead. And as I grew up I could observe how hard it was for mother to take care of me and my sister. Making us sleep with a full stomach and paying our school fees became her only motive in life .What happened with my family should not happen with any other in the village so I’ll be an IAS and change every bit of it .
Even though the guy was just 14 or 15 but he still had dreams, that too for the collective good for all his village mates. I often feel so scared of dreaming. What if am never able to achieve it? What If i don’t turn out to be the best at it.
But the courage I saw in his eyes was something truly unique. I haven’t found the same again till now in anyone.
For me, a true human is not someone that just does something good for himself but for others too or at least aims to.
He’s a true inspiration to me and my heart genuinely hopes that he achieves what he wants and does what he wants.
Lastly I asked to shoot doing what he does and showed me his tricks In style.
Screenshots from my recorded video
LINK TO THE VIDEO :-
Some time ago a friend of mine was drinking in a bar with his wife when she accidentally did the same as OPs girlfriend and spilled some drink on another girl.
The girl she spilled the drink on went crazy and just like in OPs story the boyfriend appeared to see what was happening. My friend says his biggest mistake was not to just turn and leave immediately,instead he stepped between the boyfriend and his wife to try to de-escalate things. While he was talking to the boyfriend (who it turns out was pretty chill) the crazy girlfriend smashed a glass in his wifes face.
The boyfriend dragged the crazy girlfriend away and my friend called for an ambulance and got his wife outside and began administering first aid.
As they waited for the ambulance to come, crazy girl appeared again having got away from her boyfriend, but this time she had a knife and went for my friends wife again. This time he had no choice but to stop her. Which he did very violently and very decisively.
You see the thing is that he was a very big guy and an ex para who knew how to do things like that. But as he tells it, he felt responsible for the fact that because he hadn’t immediately left with his wife when crazy girl started, there were now two women going to hospital and one of them going to jail. He blamed his own self confidence as he thought trouble would come from the boyfriend and he knew he could handle it. Because of that, he says, his wife was scarred for life.
He says if he could do one thing differently that night it would have been to do what OP did and grab his wife and leave.
OP if your girlfriend has fantasies of you being some kind of superhero fighting bad guys over a perceived slight to her dignity then she clearly isn’t living in the real world.
In the real world bar fights end up with victims like this
You did the right thing.
I would have to say Canada.
First off, Canada is very developed. They are the sixth most developed in terms of HDI, 11th in GDP nominal, and 103 by terms of GNI. Canada is a booming world marketplace, as there are many new job opportunities opening up in Canada.
Canada is safe and secure. It is nearly impossible to invade, protected by two huge oceans, the vast icy Arctic, and the United States on all sides. They have the 14th most powerful armed forces, and are eternally protected by the US, the most powerful country in the world. Canada has no foreign enemies, and they are one of the most peaceful countries in the world. Crime is very low in Canada; one of the lowest in the world, in fact. It is extremely hard to obtain a gun in Canada, and concealed weapons are illegal.
Canada is a melting pot. Immigrants from all around the world come and settle in Canada. No matter where you are from, you will find people of your race, religion or ethnicity in Canada. It is easy to feel right at home as there is little/no racism in Canada and Canadians are very tolerant people.
Another thing about Canadians- they are extremely kind and nice. Yes it is true. Canadians are some of the nicest, kindest, friendliest and most helpful people in the world. They will give you a very warm welcome.
Healthcare is free in Canada, although you have to pay two different taxes (national and provincial). It is a great place for active and retired families, as real estate is a load cheaper in Canada than other countries. Canada is a unique place, with a diverse and varied culture and geography. There are tundras, ice caps, mountains, jungles, forests, deserts, woodlands, plains, pretty much everything you can think of.
Finally, Canada is a great place to live because it is a brave country with a great national identity and reputation, and is truly the best country.
I will answer the question at the end. But first this: Quora has changed me immensely because it allowed me to have a dialogue with a black person in a way I’ve never done before.
Yes, I just said that. (My point will be obscured if I prevaricate so I’m going to be honest.)
I have never, ever had a completely open and fulfilling conversation with a black person about his/her being black and me being white.
I was always holding my tongue, being careful not to offend, pretending to understand things I didn’t understand. I think deep down, I assumed all black people hated me, blamed me, honestly, I don’t know what I thought. But it prevented me from talking openly.
It isn’t anyone’s fault, it certainly wasn’t based on anything a black person has said or done to me. It is the product of my own ignorance, fear, and our society’s tendency notto promote discussions and understanding but rather force words down our throat and out of our mouths. This is so very wrong. If we don’t talk about it, ignorance gets worse, not better. Eventually, if you avoid the issues, you avoid the people.
And that is how someone like me—pretty open-minded and worldly—goes years without deeply connecting to a single black person. I’m so embarrassed, but it’s true.
So I guess I do blame myself after all. Quite simply, I was afraid. I’m afraid of doing something offensive without knowing it. Afraid of being called a racist. And in my heart of hearts, I was so deeply afraid that if I explore these things, I will actually find that I AM racist. How can I live with that? It is untenable. So instead, I say: ‘I’m educated, I’m enlightened, we don’t need to talk about these things. I’m not the problem.’
So I didn’t talk and didn’t ask questions and didn’t connect. And I became the problem.
Then something happened, through Quora. I met. And we formed a friendship based on trust. And circumstances happened such that we got to meet in person.
Here we are. In case you’re one of those people who “doesn’t see race” I’m on the left.
We talked about him being black and me being white and all that entails – all of it – for hours and hours. Things I had never talked about. He told me about how many black people speak two languages; “street slang” and “job interview” (to use Dave Chapelle’s terms). And then Desmond proved it with our black waiter who admitted to doing “job interview” speak because I, white person, was at the table. I had no idea. That was in the first 10 minutes.
We both understand that neither black nor white culture is a monolith and that neither of us spoke for “our people.” We were just two people having a completely open conversation about our own lives and how race has affected them.
Desmond and I know and trust each other. He knows that no matter what I say, my INTENTION is good and based on my desire to learn. Even if my words might not be right. And vice versa.
I care about talking because I care about understanding. I am ignorant and I think I know things I don’t. I did not grow up around black people, I’m not familiar with important elements of black culture. Talking and listening is the only way to combat my shortcomings. The only way.
I think we need to promote a space where it is ok to talk, and ask, and to show ignorance IF you are willing to learn. For all issues. I pledge to try to do a better job to create that space. But you have to come in good faith.
Ok, back to the question: has this changed my view of black people? No, not really.
I knew I didn’t know all there was to know about black people, in fact, I knew very little. And talking to a single black person doesn’t mean I’m now enlightened.
But, thanks to Quora, talking to a single black person has allowed me to admit my ignorance and made me feel open to seek out more knowledge.
And I’m really excited about that, I mean, isn’t that what this is all about? Learning about each other? I think so. Let’s get started.
“Fun” is a relative term.
Before I understood this, I thought there was something wrong with me.
I would be in the middle of a huge, noisy party and wonder why everyone was jumping up and down and I just wanted to go home.
I’d hear people say “We had a blast last night! We were all drunk and got to bed at 5:30 a.m.!” and to me that sounded like the last thing I would ever feel like doing.
I’d arrive at a noisy bar, see everyone screaming over the noise to exchange small talk and hesitate at the frame of the door for a couple of minutes. Then I’d turn right around and leave.
I don’t do drugs, and that sure seemed like fun. I felt so boring. So closed minded.
With time I developed my own opinions of what is fun for me.
I think being alone is fun. Or, being with another person or two. Reading is fun. Going to the gym is fun. It’s fun to get up early to go for a run up a long hill. It’s fun to write answers on Quora. (Really, if I’m writing, I’m having fun.)
You decide what’s fun. You can (and should) do a lot of what you think is fun, so the people who have the same definition of fun can find you.
The writer says:-“I got to ride with a lady uber driver in Delhi today. Her name is Shabana and she’s been driving with Uber for a year. She secretly took driving lessons without telling her parents because she loved driving. When she decided to become an Uber driver her parents were shocked but she convinced them. When I asked her if there ever was a moment when she felt scared, she said “I have martial arts training and can beat up any guy if he tries to act funny.Men and women are equal and it’s upto us to lead by example”. Respect Shabana.”
Right method of using sticky notes
You might have experienced that the sticky notes don’t always stick that well. They tend to curl up, and fall to the floor after a while.
But there is a solution in the way you peel off the sticky note.
The usual way is:
But when you do it this way, the sticky note will curl up and disappear from your wall after a little while and finally end up in the dustbin.
The better way is to peel if off from left to right:
Start at the left side of the pad and pull the note to the right. The blue line indicates the adhesive and the red arrow is the direction to move the sticky note. When you stick this sticky note to the wall, you’ll notice that it doesn’t curl up, and thus will stick many times longer.
This picture shows the difference:
Peeling off sticky notes creates ‘microfolds’ in the paper, perpendicular to the peeling direction:
If the adhesive band is parallel to the microfolds(upper row), the sheets remain bended, similar as for fake eyelashes.
If the adhesive band is perpendicular to the microfolds, it countereffects this bending, making sure that the sheet remains flat.
Thanks youfor the explanation part.
Have you ever heard of the zero-sum game?
According to Wikipedia: “In game theory and economic theory, a zero-sum game is a mathematical representation of a situation in which each participant’s gain (or loss) of utility is exactly balanced by the losses (or gains) of the utility of the other participant”.
The worst way to go through life is to assume that another person’s gain is your loss.
This breeds jealousy and envy inside you; and kills collaboration, teamwork and happiness.
Assume instead that there is no joy like witnessing another succeed.
Go through life pulling others up every chance you get.
Watch magic unfold.
Imagine a room within four brick walls.
It’s comfortable and you have what you need.
But it has no windows.
This room is an ordinary life. Acceptable, but limited.
Reading is like creating a window.
A window means a breeze. It means light, and the sun shining in, and a view.
The view can be anything, anything you want. A beach, the sky, a story, history; soldiers ready to raise the alarm, a boy in a cabin, a beautiful woman with a long yellow dress, a tiger, desperate and hungry, trapped on a life raft.
You can look out at whatever you wish; and you can learn. Pick what you want to learn about: the entirety of world knowledge is at your fingertips.
The more you read the more you open windows in the brick walls until you are left with no bricks. Just a vast expanse full of everything you have chosen.
Now remove your favorite story.
Pack up the soldiers and say goodbye to the woman and watch the tiger and the life raft drift away.
Shut out the light.
Close off the breeze.
Replace every brick.
Return to your life, acceptable, circumscribed and finite.
This is a life without reading.
Now, you ask, am I saying reading is better than real life?
Is it better to live, or is it better to read?
And I ask you: why should you be without either?
My answer is – both. Pick both. Open all the windows.
Ambrose Bierce, one of my favorite writers, defined “bore” as “a person who talks when you wish him to listen”.
He also defined an “egotist” as “a person of poor taste more interested in himself than in me.”
What I love about his word definitions, compiled in a book called The Devil’s Dictionary, is that they manage to be biting, funny and true.
To his point, to be less boring, you have to show interest in something other than yourself. That’s a fact.
But I also feel “bore”, much like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder.
I find small talk and parties painfully boring (which in turn would define me as a bore in the eyes of the many people who love parties and small talk.)
I don’t drink, I don’t do drugs and I rarely stay up late (and I say “rarely” because I define late as 10:30 p.m. and sometimes I turn the light off at 11:00.)
For a long time I fretted about how boring I was and tried to force myself to go to parties to “get out there” and “have some fun”. I assumed there was something wrong with me until the day finally arrived when the possibility of being the most boring person on Earth caused me less horror than the thought of dragging myself to another party.
Today, when someone finds me boring all it means is we’re not a good match.
Someone out there will be fascinated by the people you find boring, and no matter how boring you worry you are, someone out there will be enthralled by you.
Despite having done a lot of pretty stupid things, I don’t regret anything I did or didn’t do.
Every decision I made (and some of them were pretty terrible!) got me where I am today and I like where I am.
Despite of which I can’t say I have no regrets.
You know what I regret?
All the times, big or small, when I have not been kind.
My brother calls. “I have a situation” he says. My heart stops.
“My kids will be in the school African Play” he explains. “My wife and I will be away due to a trip planned long ago. There will be no one there to see them.”
I pause. I am so busy at work; this would require mid-week plane travel and canceling two days full of meetings.
I tell him I cannot make it. He says he understands. We hang up.
Then it hits me. My niece and nephew are growing so fast. When will I have the fortune of another African Play emergency?
I call him back. I tell him I’m coming. I schedule the trip. I cancel my meetings. I run to the airport. I arrive the night before to read them a story and tuck them in.
The next day I am sitting in the audience so grateful that I made this decision, mostly for myself and the pleasure of seeing them (they are really adorable.) And I wonder if they will even remember, if it will matter in the long run that I’m here.
I scan the audience and see all the kids jumping and running and acting like monkeys (literally). Except for my nephew, who is standing still. He is looking right at me and smiling, his four year old face in an ocean of children. I will never forget the way he was looking at me.
The best thing we can do in life is to be there for the people that we love.
Attribution (per Quora’s request.) I wrote this. Every word. It’s possible a similar version of this story also exists on my blog, which I also wrote.
This was my father’s library.
Throughout my life, we’d all sit down to dinner as a family and talk and books would be pulled down from these shelves and brought to the table to prove, disprove or expand whatever we were talking about.
We all did our homework in this room and used the books as reference material.
Often, when friends came over, my father gave them a book related to the conversation we had held as a parting gift.
This beautiful room which punctuated my life no longer exists.
We recently took it down because he requested in his will that every one of his books be donated to a public library close to his heart.
Books should be loved and read and held and underlined and earmarked and referred to and given away.
Used correctly, you can never have too many books.
We don’t know. We can’t know. But…
Every religion and every philosophy builds itself around attempting to answer this question. And they do it on faith because life didn’t come with a user’s manual.
We live our lives inside a bubble with an opaque surface. Is there something bigger? Were we put here for a purpose? What happens next? What is the end goal? Is there an end goal? If those answers exist they are likely outside of our perception.
So, from our narrow perspective, what do we know? Or think we know?
As far as we know, we get one life. If reality is like a video game with three lives, we don’t know that (sorry Hindus). That’s as much meaning as we can perceive or measure. One chance.
So, ask yourself “If I had only one life, how would I live it?” and there is your meaning.
WARNING: ASKING THIS QUESTION RESULTS IN SELF-LOATHING EVERY TIME ONE LOOKS IN THE MIRROR, IF ONE DOESN’T FOLLOW THROUGH. LIFE IS EASIER IF ONE DOESN’T ASK.
No kidding. Those three minutes during which I shave are the worst moments of every day. The lazy, cowardly asshole in the mirror has done a piss poor job of following through with what we decided we would do if we had only one life. But there remains a sliver of hope he might accidentally do something right.
Every person is a unique miracle of odds. They would be a different person if their parents had made love after the movie instead of before. A googolplex of variables had to line up to produce each of us as we are. Whether that was a result of divination or random numbers, we can’t know. But that doesn’t mean we can’t appreciate it and be grateful for it.
How would the world be different if you had not lived? THAT is the meaning of life? If it wouldn’t be different, then your life has no meaning. That sounds harsh, but we don’t need to watch Jimmy Stewart in It’s a Wonderful Life to recognize that it is near impossible for an individual to make no impact on the world around them, if only in the proximity.
That means we largely set our own meaning. Our actions – our being – defines the meaning of our life. The smallest act of kindness or the smallest act of cruelty or apathy can have cascading ripple effects. Life is the chaos theory Jeff Goldblum prattles on about in Jurassic Park, and we are the butterfly in South America. But chaos can receive direction if we control our path through life.
On our deathbeds, we may have beliefs, but we won’t know what happens next. But we can look back and assess whether we made a difference that we can be proud of – that is the meaning of life.
Whether that difference is our work, our family, our joys, our experiences, our loves, or our sacrifices is up to us.
*brought to you by Quoraing after cocktails.